It isn’t a shooting pain or anything that makes me wince. No, it is more of a nagging, always there discomfort right where my back meet my right haunch. As if somehow attached, there is an equally hounding sore spot to the left of the nape of my neck into the trapezius muscle.
Sometimes I lie to myself and say that it is caused by crossing my legs all day at the office. (In fairness, that probably doesn’t help.) However, I know that isn’t true, because I don’t always have these pains and I always cross my legs. No, these two spots are where I pack my stress away.
It started with one little stressor to which I thought, “I’ll deal with that later.” Then another came and another. I thought I had so many more important things to do. Then a couple of pretty big ones came. I’d like to tell you I had something eloquent going through my head, but it was more like, “ZOMG!!!! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SH*T!”
I’m not sure if it is good or bad, but I have a physical manifestation to remind me that I’m not dealing with my stress effectively. Maybe we all have that? If so, what is yours? In a previous life (okay, it was this one), I would have believed the voice in my head that I didn’t have time to worry about the pain in my butt or the knot in my neck. What I’m learning is that I don’t have time not to deal with it.
The knot in my neck started out the size of a pea. Stretching, soaking in the tub, or getting a massage would have worked it right out. It would have helped me let go of whatever the initial stressor was. Instead, I put it aside and did something else. Something important I’m sure, but also something I can’t recall. Was it really more important than not having a nagging headache for the past four days? I’m not so sure about that.
What the heck am I going to do about this pain in my tushie? I’m not exactly sure, but I can’t keep ignoring it. Step one is probably doing a little bit of stretching. Maybe while I do it, I can take some deep breaths. Breath in peace, breath out things I cannot control but would really like to. Step two is going to be doing my best effort, but accepting my limits. (Man, I hate that.) Step three is loving my broken self right where I am today. If none of that works, I’ll probably go get a massage or see a chiropractor.
If you see me in the next week, I dare you to ask how my right haunch is doing. I might just ask you to feel the ball of stress that currently resides there.