Just Being

We celebrated Mother’s Day by going to my parents’. They make six trips to us for every one we make to them… and they never say a word about it. I love having them come to visit, but there is something about going to them that is almost better.

They still live in my childhood home. When we go back it is exactly as it was 20 years ago with few modifications. My mom indulges my desire to have sandwiches from the local sub shop. We make stops at some of their favorite spots. My dad likes to show the grandkids off at his usual coffee spot and the local bank, which is a gathering place on Saturday mornings for old friends. (I would like to stress the old.) I guess that is why it is called Community Bank.

Sunday always includes going to church. As I sit in the congregation and look around, I wonder if I look as old as everybody looks to me. I mourn for those who sit alone, who once sat with a beloved spouse. I wonder if life really goes on when your one true love is gone. Former classmates, who I shared camping trips and faith formation (sometimes at the same time), bring their families and my mind is blown that they could possibly be old enough to have kids. Yes, in spite, of my own family’s existence.

We rarely have an agenda to adhere to and my mom makes a point of keeping things simple. I like to help with meals and clean up, because one of my favorite things about being together is unadulterated time with grands and grands. The squeals of delight and laughter fill me up with joy. They stay with me for times where I want to strangle life as it comes in ways I don’t care for. I find that not being in our house is relaxing, because I have no to do list. The only expectation is that I’m present.

I found myself savoring everything that we did.

Swinging in the back yard together.

Playing cards and having margaritas with my parents.

Walking and reconnecting with a friend.

Pool party at the senior center during family swim.

Bubbles in the back yard.

Diving for a frisbee with Bigs in his made up game.

Making rhubarb dessert with my mom.

Devouring a great book lent by a friend.

I need to figure out how I can do this at home on a more regular basis. How do I set aside all that needs to be done and just enjoy what I have? How do I balance the two without going to one extreme or the other? This has been a theme for me for the better part of six months now. I ruminate on it regularly trying to solve the riddle. What is the secret? I’m not sure that there is a silver bullet or even a single answer. While my mind will likely come back to the puzzle, for now I’m trying to choose what will bring peace and happiness to our family and me.

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One thought on “Just Being

  1. I’m still puzzling that same question. How do I set aside all that needs to be done and just enjoy what I have? I think part of it is building in those trips. I love heading back to my hometown to visit my parents. They visit us way more than we visit them as well. I think part of it is learning to revel in those tiny moments as they come.

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