I’ve never been much for resolutions, but I’ve always been a planner. Do those two things really go together? It seems like they should. 2013 was my first year of real resolutions. Maybe it was having two kids or having survived a very difficult 2012 that made me realize I had a lot I wanted to accomplish. For whatever reason in 2013, I realized that I needed to make time for everything I wanted to accomplish, so I set out to allocate my time.
It started with admitting that I need eight hours of sleep at night. I wish I could be one of those people who trains themselves to get by on three or four hours, but I become a raging lunatic after approximately two days. If being unbearable isn’t enough, prolonged sleep deprivation always leads me directly to illness or the verge of emotional breakdown.
Next came my goals at work, not because it is most important, but let’s face it, I know what I need to do to be successful. It’s one of the things I love about being a working mom. I leave the house and am measured at whether I’m good at my job or not. For better or worse, I get moment by moment measuring of my performance. I like that I always know where I stand.
As a mom, I have no effing clue whether I’m doing it right or not. It’s like having to wait 25 years to know whether you earned a bonus or not… or still have a job… or are a complete failure… or should have been writing a book to document your guru status. Yeah, there are clues along the way, but how do you really know you aren’t messing your kids up?
From a personal perspective, I allocated my time to three areas: self-care, family, and household. Household was mostly a place holder for things that need to get done: making meals, errands, cleaning, larger projects, etc. It kept me honest about not dedicating too much time to these activities, which is just as important as checking them off. When it came to family, I had a single goal: spend 20 minutes with each family member daily where I was fully present and engaged. The idea came from either a facilitated Love and Logic session or the book “1-2-3 Magic.” Self-care consisted of exercise, connecting with friends, and reading. Honestly, I’ve had mixed results across the board.
My resolutions last year where sort of lame, but I’ve been successful with them… like daily flossing. BOOM! I kept my daily 30 minutes of self-care going. My word for 2014 was Compassion. It served as a great focal point for me.
So here goes, friends, 2015 Resolutions!
- Connect with one friend in person, by phone, text, or e-mail
- Make someone feel good about themselves
- Spend 30 minutes reading, writing, or other self-care
- Spend 20 minutes with each family member fully present and engaged (this was a good one, why not do it again)
- Document three things for which I’m grateful
- Call my mom. ❤
- Spend one hour doing something just for myself (soaking in the tub, pedicure, nap)
- Write one note to a friend (on paper) and mail
- Re-instate the “Power Hour.” I’ve gotten away from doing this, but it is one hour per week dedicated to bills, forms, and mail. I let it pile up (mostly) untouched for the week.
- Date night with my handsome husband
- Date night with a friend
- Create a single week menu that can be repeated in the future complete with recipes and grocery list (my ultimate goal is to have a 12 week rotation headed into 2016)
The Squishy and Immeasurable Goals:
- Really listen
- Make people feel heard
- Accept that I am not in control of all of my outcomes
- Be present!
If you were curious, I’m feeling a little naked right now. Palms sweating wondering if I should just delete this draft and pretend I never got around to resolving this year. For real.
Does anybody have a recommendation for a good app that would allow me to keep track of progress on my goals? What are your resolutions?