I’m Sure It is Nothing

18 days ago, I got a cough.  It was just a cough, not a runny nose, no fever, I felt good enough to go to work.  Granted it did feel like someone was sitting on my chest all the time.  Our back-up pediatrician taught me the rule of two symptoms, “Once you see two symptoms, go see the doctor.”  I use it for both my kids and myself.

Fever = don’t see doctor

Fever + complaints of ear pain = see doctor

Not sleeping + green boogery nose = see doctor

Cough = don’t see doctor

This rule has saved me hundreds of dollars and time in a waiting room with lots of sick people only to hear, “It’s a virus.”

Yesterday, I thought Bigs wasn’t quite right.  He hasn’t been sleeping well and felt warm.  I pulled out our trusty temporal thermometer and as I always do, tested it on myself before taking his temperature.  100.1 degrees at 7:00 a.m.  Clearly it was broken, so I tried it on Bigs… 98.6.  I did what every good mom would do and gave myself some Tylenol and sent myself to work convinced that I was mere days away from feeling better.  After all, I’d had the cough for 18 days it had to end soon.

Cough + fever = see doctor

Knowing that I had two symptoms, I resolved myself to go to the doctor in spite of knowing that this was just a virus.  4 days earlier my boss had told me to stay home from work in hopes that it would help my cough get better.  I complied, but spent the day “resting” by cleaning out a closet and packing up summer clothes from my children’s rooms.  Shockingly, that day of “rest” didn’t do a darn thing.  My husband, co-workers, friends had been telling me for weeks that I should see the doctor.  Even the label on the DayQuil I had been taking religiously to reduce my cough advised to see a doctor if the cough lasted more than 7 days.

On my way to pick up my kids from school, I went to the walk in clinic.  The doctor asked me about my symptoms and I assured her it was nothing, but my desire to appease everybody in my life that I was fine.  She listened to my lungs and said they sounded “crackly” and asked if it would be okay to take an x-ray to rule out something more serious.  Post my x-ray, she came back to tell me I have pneumonia and that I needed a strong antibiotic and rest.  People like me don’t get pneumonia!  People like me hate people who walk around spreading their awful germs with others!!!

Today, I’m trying to rest.  Two cups of morning coffee probably aren’t helping me rest.  I’m looking around my house seeing approximately 10,492 things that need to get done (please see the picture above of toys sprayed across my living room).  I’m trying to let them be and rest.  A friend texted me last night to see how my weekend and cough were.  He knows me well and responded to my confession of needing to go to bed early with:

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Why is it so difficult to go against our nature?  Why are habits so hard to break?  I tried to lure a friend over (with masks to cover my cough) to hang out with me, because I suck at resting.  I’m bored.  I’ve totally justified the giant pot of soup I have simmering on the stove that I made this morning, because it will help me get better.  How am I going to make it another day doing nothing?  Why is it so  hard to take care of myself when I’m pretty stinking good at taking care of everybody else?

Any suggestion for movies to watch, would be greatly appreciated.  Law & Order: SVU is starting to creep me out.

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